Uninhabitable Waters

The Dead Sea Facts:

Shores are the lowest point on the surface of the earth on dry land

The deepest hypersaline lake in the world

One of the world's saltiest bodies of water

A harsh environment where animals cannot flourish

Do you ever feel like you can't get your head above water for more than a gasp of air, only to be forced down again by the torrential currents of life? Lately, my vision is so crowded, or maybe just narrow, that I can't seem to rise above all the hubbub of life and let things roll off my back. There have been so many things that crept under my skin in the last two weeks, things to which I would under normal circumstances not give a second thought. It's difficult to pull out of this type of funk without an interference. Thoughts alone only pull me in deeper.

Let's do a for instance. In reference to the crush post, I am still on a bit of a crush kick, but I started to like one guy for longer than two days, only to find out he was taking another girl out (on a date at which I might have been present). Um, awkward, but he was just a crush. Granted, this one lasted 7 days, not 2, but really, not a big deal. I have no claim, I have no history, I SHOULD have no feelings, but oh my goodness, serious, serious pangs of jealousy, sadness, annoyance, anger. Feelings like this are not normal. Not after a seven day crush on a guy I've talked to maybe twice. Weird. Okay, that was just one instance, there have been many other happenings in the last couple weeks, equally insignificant, but VERY disturbing to my psyche.

When I get this way, the step-back approach brings some perspective. So, yesterday, I stepped back. I pulled out this huge canvas I've been meaning to transform into art for the last 2 years, and I made it happen. I cranked the falloutboy, brought out the charcoal and went for it. Two hours later, I had a tangible object representing success.

Albeit small, it was an accomplishment, a much-needed feeling to pull me out of the drudgery of all these weird emotions running through me. I realized I have forgotten I have a life outside of all these tides of unease. I love art, I love good music, I love being alone and thinking about nothing. I need to feel like I have accomplished something. I know it's so small, but just as insignificant are those occurences mentioned above that really affected me, this seemingly insignicant drawing turned me around, pulled me out of the depths and got me back into some sunlight. I think I'm still in the water, but at least I got to a wading pool and I'm out of the dead sea.